Saturday, August 27, 2011

Zucchini and Bras

Here is the thing about being a lose your pride in many areas, but then in a few others you gain some. Certain things that used to matter so much fall to the way side and things that you used to roll your eyes at are suddenly fantastic. You stop worrying about quality furniture (which is just going to get trashed in the next few years) and how cushy your couch is and you get pumped about how soft the pampers swaddlers diapers are and that they now sell them up to size three. It's backwards and weird but it happens.
The last few weeks two strange things happened. First, I bought bras in the girls department. That's right...not for a little girl mind you, but for me. I was passing by with the section and noticed that it was a quality brand that I had purchased before, but it was 2 bras for $18. Not only that...they were on sale for $12!!! Unbelieveable, you can't even get a bra strap for $12 in the "big girl's' section.
I have never been super concerned about my chest, or lack there of. It is what it is. (Obviously, here I am blogging about it) However, buying them out of the girls section was a tad on the humbling side. (Especially when I realized I wasn't even getting the bigger sizes). Yet I realize, it was such a great deal that I am all proud of my find and how thrifty I am for using what I have (or don't have as the case may be).
Second thing that happened...I grew a garden. Well, I have been growing one for awhile, but I am now harvesting the rewards. Tonight alone we ate a casserole dish including onions, carrots and zucchini from our garden and I brought in, washed and bagged up tons of lettuce and more of the carrots and zucchini.
I have never been a really green thumb or very culinary. Haven't cared too much about it. Yet here I am watering, tending, and caring for my garden and walking inside, shoulders back with a zucchini the size of my forearm. "Look at me, I am the next Sisco!" Chop Chop Chop. Cooking away. Never been my gig, but suddenly I am so proud of the organic little spread my family has for the next month or so.
And I don't know why, but for some reason these two things have been a great representation to me of just how much being a mother, a parent, changes our perspective on life. How God has used these kids and our new responsibilities to mold us and shape us into people who care more about what goes in fresh zucchini, than what goes on us, like a fashion super bra. (Small disclaimer: I still love to feed the kids kraft mac n' cheese and I still love my unnecessary northface steps here).
I know there are countless ways in which my priorities and perspective have changed since motherhood. So far, I am thankful for the influence they've had, because God is using them to teach me to look beyond self and care more about their lives than mine. Just as He did for us, with His Son Jesus. And the more I can learn this lesson, the more I can be like Him.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Learning to speak

It is interesting to me, that just when I think I have learned something and am I starting to make headway on a weakness I am once again reminded how very falable (sp?) I am. I clearly remember my mother telling me when I was younger, "that mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one day, and I am not going to be able to fix it." Boy was she right....
God warns us about taming our tongues and there are days where I feel like I have come so far. To quote Anne of Green Gables, "If you only knew all the things I wanted to say but didn't". I really have built up quite the filter, but I am learning that the holes in it are still quite large. Whether or not I am trying to be hurtful (which I have grown up enough that this is rarely intentional) I can unintentionally hurt people so easily by just not thinking before speaking. Isn't this like a 5 year olds lesson? Seriously! I just would have thought I had it by now.
I used to get angry when people didn't speak up and silently listened. Now, I just want to be them. I want to learn to keep snappy retorts to myself, opinions that cause others to stumble inside and second hand stories silenced. It seems pretty simple and I am not sure why my brain and my mouth find it so hard to comply and get along. I have come up with some basic rules I am trying to live by...
If you wonder if you should say it...don't.
Silence is golden, consider getting rich.
Now...I do have a lot of words I feel the need to use each day, so I will have to figure out a way to use them. Currently it has been apologizing to people, but if I follow my two rules...I am hoping to see the end of this trend. I have considered getting Gavin a knock knock joke book so I won't have to listen to the same jokes over and over. Maybe if I learn a few I can just throw those out in heated conversations or when I have the overwhelming urge to offer up my not needed opinion or involve myself in a conversation that I do not need to be a part of. However, if they are as bad as the current jokes he uses, I could be apologizing for those too!