My son has asthma. Not the "I get a little winded type". The, "I am struggling to breathe, I heave and wheeze" type. It's not always apparent. When he runs he gets winded pretty fast and that's the most you see of it, until he catches any sort of respitory infection. A runny nose means get out the nebulizer and mask...hook up the drugs and hope you catch it before he is heaving for breath.
We have gotten pretty good at getting on top of things, catching him before it gets bad and keeping a nice stock of many drugs on hand to deal with any occurance. (I can now talk about ipatroprium, xenopenoix, pulmicort and prednisone like a professional...I can't spell them though.) However, with the CRAZY heat we have been having (90 degrees last night at 10pm in our house), the air quality has gotten so bad and Gavin's brother has a cough and with that...Gavin just got hit. Coughing uncontrollably, unable to catch a breathe and crazy sweaty.
Last night, he was in a world of hurt. We had some friends over and he wanted to play outside, but the air is so poor and he wanted to be active, so we took him in to give him medicine (which he promptly gagged and threw up....it really does taste bad). Then we had to bathe him and get him all settled with a movie. He kept wanting to come out and see what's going on, so his dad finally had to go in and sit with him. We let him come out to have dessert, but then of course he wanted to play again. So, I went in with him for a bit to watch Cars, then snuck back out to our guests. Finally he went to bed, we had to wake him at 1am to nebulize again. He got sick again and threw up...so we showered him and tried to get him back to sleep. It was just rough!
I am sure the his asthma specialist is irritated with me by now. I've called three times since this last bout, just making sure he doesn't need to come in. We have spent too much on emergency room visits and try to avoid them at all costs now. The last time I called about air quality. I never thought I would be a person who cares, but here I am wondering, "Does it really affect his breathing? Am I supposed to keep the windows shut and my kid in doors?" The answer is "Yes". WHAT! You want me to shut my windows at night in 100 degree weather with two kids under three and one mini fan! Apparently overheating outweighs air quality, because she said at night I should probably open the window for the kids, but I think she seriously considered telling me no.
I am getting frustrated as a mom, trying to find the balance between letting his condition control his life and our families lives, but also taking care of his life. Obviously, his health comes first, but there are times I want to let him be a little boy and run around the backyard and I wonder...is this going to make him worse? His friends are over and we have to sequester him away. Do I send the friends home or just realize, this is part of what Gavin has to do and make him watch a movie alone? We are invited to a friends and Gavin seems to be doing better...do I let him go play with his buddy that he has been waiting to see all week, or tell him no and put him in front of the TV again. Do I open the window at night so he and his brother aren't sweaty and miserable or do I let them suffer for "quality air"? (I can't believe the stuffy inside air is considered the "quality" stuff.)
It's just been a bit much and I want to make the right choices! Gavin doesn't understand what's going on....he can barely breathe and he wants to play his favorite game "Jump Jump Run Run" (you can guess what that entails). I have to say "No" time and time again. It gets old...for him and me. I feel like the meanest mom in the world and he just gets so disappointed.
They say he could outgrow it. I continue to pray he will. I also pray that we will learn what lesson God has for us in all of this. Above all, I pray for wisdom to be the mom Gavin needs me to be and make the choices that are best for him and our family. I'd like to thank God too, for a little boy who does really well with all he deals with and that he isn't having to deal with anything more!