Friday, December 10, 2010

Attached

Amanda has been a pretty easy baby. She is happy, she sleeps well, and when she's awake she coos at you, all smiles with her big blue eyes. Once a routine was established, she just blended right in.
As child number three, there isn't a great deal of time to sit down with Amanda and do all the things you do with number one. We don't have hours of tummy time on the floor, where I am capturing every moment on film. She has a great deal of swing time and is often left lying on her back to look at the Christmas lights, while I run number 2 to the bathroom or deal with number 1 throwing a tantrum. It's just life as she knows it and she goes along with it pretty well.
I will say, we have had some troubles with her gaining weight. I have taken to feeding her the breast milk in a bottle, just to make sure she's getting enough and even though she gets up to 30 oz. a day, she hasn't gained one ounce in the last two weeks. Today, the doctor made a referral to Children's Hospital's special growth clinic. She seems developmentally right on track, so I haven't been super concerned, but still it was a bit disheartening to hear.
Then, today, during one of those Christmas light gazing moments, I heard a blood curdling scream from Amanda. Somehow, she got a scrape on her forehead. I am pretty sure one of the boys accidentally drug something over her, but I heard a huge wail from her tiny little self. Gavin and Brayden both looked completely innocent and confused as to why she was yelling, which did my heart some good, knowing it wasn't on purpose, but you could still tell she was hurt.
My heart ached and all the sudden I realized I have fallen in love with my little girl. Before today, I knew I loved her and I would have told anyone. But like I mentioned, there hasn't been time with Amanda to sit, gazing at her and contemplating how much she means to me and how amazing it is that God gave her to us to care for. But when I saw the big tears come from her little face, my heart kicked into gear and I realized how completely I love this little girl and how much I wanted to see the tears dried and her ever present smile return.
I am so thankful for Amanda and so glad she is ours. This tiny tiny little girl, who just three months ago entered our world. I pray God would protect her and hold her close. And though I won't be able to dry all the tears she sheds, I hope that I can dry many and even when they fall, she'll know just how much she is loved!

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