Thursday, February 17, 2011

My little Brayden

Thanks to a conversation with a friend and a deep conversation with God, I have had a revelation about my son Brayden...he is just 2.5 years old. Now, this may not seem like a revelation, seeing as I was at his birth and all, but truly, it was a divine moment.
I had been struggling with Bray and his independent spirit. He is so full of life, but so full of defiance as well. Not an out right maliciousness, just a testing and pushing kind of defiance. All the time.
I had been struggling as a parent how to work with this. If I punished him every time he said "no" he would be punished all day long and I do not want his days to consist of continual negative interactions. After talking with a dear friend, who teaches parenting classes, a certain line stuck with me..."Work on one thing at a time, remember...he's just 2.5". That night as I prayed, this line kept coming back. He's just two. He's just two. I kept asking God, "What's your point?" And then it hit me...I treat him just like Gavin...who is four and a half. I expect him to understand directions, I expect the same timely follow through on those directions, and I expect him to obey the directions.
In a strange way, this is a credit to Brayden. He is so verbal, so quick, very bright, understands a great deal and is quite capable. But still...he's just two (well, three in April, but still). So I have just been going alonng, and due to his little advancements, expecting him to keep up with his brother.
Oh...I wanted to cry, I felt like such a bad mom. Not that I had been horrible to the kid, but just that I had expectations of him that were unfair and caused us to butt heads way more than necessary.
The next day, I saw my little guy in a whole new light. I saw how smart he was, how much he does do right, and how much he needed his mom to back off a bit and show him how to do things, encourage him along and not just demand he do it himself. It has made a world of difference. We have been laughing and playing and I have been thoroughly enjoying my days with him.
Lately, Brayden has taken to wearing his firefighter coat, hat, and boots everywhere (I make him leave the gloves and binoculars at home if we are going out). He diligently puts the whole get up on each time we leave the house. It reminds me of what an amazingly unique, fun, crazy and huggable individual this child is. I love this kid. I wish everyone could see the little man we get dancing around the house, singing, acting, dressing up, using his special voices and laughing his way through life. I am so glad I get to and that God opened my eyes to see an even clearer picture of how truly fantastic he is!

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