So, my husband has been daddy wonderful lately. With the month of July off, he's been filling our kids days with tons of fun and laughter. The other night I actually asked him if he thinks he's dying, "because, you're really making the most of every moment and livin' life to the fullest." He laughed at me.
It has been good for me to watch, but also humbling. Shawn is amazing at trying to make the most of things and let go of the "to-do" list, in order to enjoy life. Don't get me wrong, he still gets stuff done, but he doesn't exhaust himself or put himself on a ridiculous deadline to do it. I do. In the meantime, he is taking the kids on bike rides, letting them run around in their underwear all day, made mud pies in the 'watertable', use their sled to go dirt sledding in our backyard, made family waterballoon fights and had campfires in the backyard until "way past bedtime". The kids have been in heaven.
I was telling my mother, the kids are going to have a rude awakening this next Monday when all they have is mom. Mom who does the laundry, does the dishes and drags them on errands to such fun places as the grocery store and if their lucky, the library. It is a humbling experience to realize that I am just not a bundle of fun. I definitely lack Shawn's spontaneity and I am just learning to 'slow down' and not have to move at such a rapid pace.
Sometimes it bothers me. I get frustrated that things aren't working on my schedule and arent' going to get finished. However, Shawn always manages to finish what he said he would (maybe not as soon as I'd like, but he will always get a job done) and he has a way of keeping my kids smiling, while he's smiling too. I think it bothers me because I'd like to be a bit more like him. Some might call it jealousy. I probably would if I were willing to admit it.
On the flip side, I realize, Shawn is trying to cram into a month, the time I get with the kids for the rest of the year. He is trying to capture laughter, joy, hugs, kisses and smiles to carry him through another 11 months. Oh, he'll get some vacation here and there, but the job does weigh on him and his shoulders carry a weight during those months that can almost be seen physically.
And so I am trying to set aside my jealousy of how much my kids have smiled and laughed in the last four weeks and be thankful that they have daddy wonderful. I am trying to learn from him and get some tips on how to chill out a little and let things slide a bit more. I am trying to give myself some grace for not always being "super fun" because, the reality is, I am still doing my job of laundry, dinners, groceries, laundry, cleaning, scheduling and laundry.
In the end...mostly, I am realizing how lucky I am to have married a man who does know how to make the most of every moment and is passing that onto our children....they are so very blessed to have daddy wonderful.