Costco

Friday: I'd been putting off a trip to the bank and Costco all day and finally decided, after naptime we are going! I got all ready, got the kids up, gave them a package of fruit chews (thinking this would be a great little treat to prep them for the outing) and went to take Gavin potty before we left. The chewies were gone and he had a complete melt down, screaming, kicking and yelling about how, "I don't want potty and I don't want Costco". You and me both, kid, but I am out of Ziplocks.
I finally just dragged him out to the van, where Brayden sat happily strapped and munching on chewies, and wrestled Gavin into his seat. He cried the whole way to the bank. The fake kind. The kind where they start strong, wind down and then stop. About a second after they stop, they realize their still mad and rev up again. It was a fantastic start to an already dreaded trip.
After another melt down about which drive through lane we use (Gavin wanted the one by the window, which of course had a line) we finally finish with the bank, hand back the stickers they give us and everyone is happy for about 5 minutes...until we pull up at Costco.
A jeep totally swipes a spot I was waiting for. I had my blinker and everything and it just swoops in. It was such a great spot, so close. I see the side of the jeep and the whole thing is covered with "Progressive"...I am now never getting progressive insurance.
I continue to the far reaches of the earth and park the van. "Here we are."
Gavin points out, "It's raining."
Mom, feeling like a louse because she has on a coat and they don't. "Don't worry, you have on long sleeves and it's only a sprinkle...we'll run!"
Gavin, "I don't want to run."
Mom, "No suprise there."
We get out and do our best to get into Costco fast. I think the attempt at speed may have slowed us down.
Finally, we are in. We spend an entire trip informing Gavin that the race track they had out at Christmas is gone. He doesn't get it and asks over and over to see it. I finally take him to all the mattresses and say, "See...no race track. No toys. It's gone. There are none. Christmas is over and they took the toys. It's just beds and furniture." I felt mean. But I was tired of discussing the racetrack.
Gavin thinks and then says, "Okay mom, but can we go see the race track?"
Argh! I give up on trying to convince him and go on a hunt to find all the coupon items, which I swear they have moved to different locations. Upon looking in my purse for my last coupon I realize I don't have the envelope of cash from the bank. It's in the van. I search my purse another three times just to make sure I really screwed up.
Sure enough.
I wheel the cart up to the entry and park it to the side. Gavin asks where we are going.
"Out to the van, so fast so mommy can get our money."
"And then we go home?"
"Ummm...no, we have to come back and buy the groceries."
"I don't want to."
"Neither do I."
I look outside. It is now a torrential downpour. I look at my cart, at the rain, my cart again. I've already shopped. We're out of Ziplocks. I love Ziplocks. I am not coming back here later...we're goin' for it.
I kindly ask the Costco lady if I can set my cart aside and come back to get it. She looks at me, at my coatless kids and declares, "It's really raining." Thanks Sherlock!
"Yes, I know, but I just can't come back again", I say as she gives me a look declaring me a horrible mom. At this point, I did not need that look, I had achieved feeling this way all on my own.
I put the kids in a new empty cart, take off my coat, put it over my kids heads and proceed to high tail it through the parking lot. I am in a short sleeve shirt, lightweight Yoga pants, getting SOAKED and my son is yelling, "Mama, it's so wet." We call him Captain Obvious.
I get to the van, get my money and run back to the entry way. The lady looks at me, dripping in my T-shirt and I take the coat off my kids, trying to salvage some dignity, but realize it is far too soaked to put back on. Brayden at least, is giggling, thinking the whole thing is hysterical. Gavin is just very concerned about his wet knees and insisting I get a napkin to wipe them off.
I head over to the lines and see that of course, they grew exponentially while we made our trek out to the Egypt, where our van was parked. I silently send up a prayer for the driver of the Progressive jeep, asking God to teach them a lesson or two about stealing parking spots.
We finally get through the line, get our smiley face on our receipt and head back to the van.
I throw my coat back over my kids and do my best, but with all the groceries it's slow going. Brayden has taken to pulling off the coat and Gavin is trying valiantly to keep his knees dry. My T-shirt and pants are stuck to me. I get the kids in the van as fast as I can and then try to load up. My back is soaked clear through. Gross.
We get home and I run the kids in and strip them down. Brayden is in his diaper, Gavin running around naked and singing, "Nakers Nakers Nakers." I get some underwear on Gavin and quickly pull together some dinner.
They are naked. They are happy. I have Ziplocks. I am happy. I guess this is what we call success. I never pictured it to be my kids naked, my hair drenched and crazy, my groceries piled high and all of us sitting around eating chicken nuggets, but I'll take it. However, the next Costco trip, we're bringing Dad.