Turning Four

Tomorrow Gavin turns four. We held his birthday party at a park in Country Village that offers train rides. We had a small handful of his friends and their families show up. The kids got to ride the train, make a craft and then we had lunch and cake. It was quick and fun and required little clean-up...PERFECT!
It has been slightly confusing for Gavin. We have been talking about turning four for so long, but due to the fact that we had a baby coming and we weren't sure about the weather (the train rides aren't offered on rainy days) we didn't really tell him about his party or build it up at all, in case we had to cancel. (I can imagine nothing worse than saying...sorry dude, no party, no train, maybe next year.) One day he woke up and we were like, "Hey, today you're having a party!". It was still very fun for him, but I am sad about him missing out on the build-up to the big day.
After his party he and his brother passed out in the car. We went to wake him up and the first thing he said, as he wipes his sleepy eyes is, "Am I going to school now?" Not quite yet kiddo.
Tomorrow is the actual day and I am trying to explain that to him too. I should just let it go, but I want to celebrate and I know the kids won't be disappointed with a cupcake or two. Plus we haven't given him his presents yet.
He keeps informing me he is "bigger" and doesn't need my help as much. It is good to see him becoming more independent, as he has always been my one who doesn't like to struggle through things, but breaks down in frustration. Suddenly, at four, he has a new tenacity. It is sweet to see his spirit grow, helpful to have him figure things out, frustrating to see him insist on trying things that are well beyond his big four years, and heartbreaking to watch my firstborn grow up.
I am a mixture of emotions watching my child and I am thankful for the insight into God's eyes as to the complications of a parents love. I want to cheer him on, discipline him, push him forward and hold him back all at the same time. I can't imagine how God goes through this on a global level, so intensely for all of his children. My heart is overwhelmed by just a few.
Still, my heart is fuller with each day and each year that passes. I think I am going to like four...I also know that five will come way too soon!

Favorite discussion as of late

Gavin: Mom I want to be a front loading garbage truck when I get bigger and bigger.

Me: Well, you can't be a garbage truck, but maybe you can be a garbage man.

Gav: But whhhhhy? You said I can be anything I want.

Me: I decided I was wrong.

Upcoming arrival

I will admit I am starting to get a tad nervous about the arrival of this baby. Not so much the actual addition to the family as the event itself. With daddy working a 45 minute commute in the opposite direction of the hospital and my last child coming 2.5 hours from when the first contraction hit (well, technically from when my water broke) I am starting to play out various scenarios in my head of how to make SURE I get to the hospital. Brayden's wasn't the easiest delivery and let's just say, things would not have gone well for him or for me if we were not at a medical center.
I know in my head God has it all under control, however my type A, overly organized self keeps giving Him some great ideas of how it could work out. You would think after listening to Gavin all day long, telling me how he thinks the day should go and whining "Whhhhhy?" when I say I have different plans, I would let up on God. But it still doesn't stop me. I am sure I am far more obnoxious than my four year old, continually pestering him with my plans, thoughts, and frustrations at not getting my way. I mean really...I, at least, should know better. Gav is just learning.
In the end, I will be interested to hear this little one's story. Both the boys had quite the different entries and stories on their way in...I am looking forward to knowing the end of this one's journey into the world.
Tomorrow is an ultra sound and I am also looking forward to making sure she is still a "she". I still have a hard time believing this, but they better have gotten it right or I maybe posting a desperate need for boy things, seeing as all mine have been given away or consigned, not to mention he'll be sleeping on flowered sheets!
I am also looking forward to seeing how big they think she is. Well, at least I think I am. We'll see after the results! It should be interesting...the hardest part will be walking out and not beginning a monologue with God to tell him my new plan after I receive all the new information. I am already praying for a peaceful spirit and a willingness to hand over the information and let Him have his way. I just hope He gives me more grace than I give Gavin...hmmm...so many lessons to learn here. More grace to Gavin and more time with my mouth shut...tough ones!

Backpacks

Gavin and Brayden have found their "backpacks". Gav's is a little blue one his Mimi and Papa have brought back from Italy and Bray's is a little frog one that Gavin got two Christmas' ago. They have been sporting them around the house, climbing on the couch, aka the "bus", and riding to school. Suddenly, school is the game of the day.
Gavin takes it quite seriously. "No Bray, you wear the back pack like this," as he puts it on both arms. "Otherwise, it's a purse." He tells Brayden how the bus works at that the backpack holds your stuff for school. Then he tells Bray what he thinks school is like. It is fun to listen to his rendition of how a school day goes.
Brayden, slings his little arms through and drives his pretend bus around. Sometimes he sticks his hand in the pack and makes the frog hop around saying ribbit ribbit. Sometimes he unzips it totally and puts it on his head. Either way, he is seriously adorable and a total crack up.
There is a small, but good example of the difference in my boys. Shawn and I were talking just last night about how different they are and how much we love their personalities...so opposite in so many ways. I remember my mom saying to me, "I don't love you or your sister better, I just love you different." I thought it was a cop out and she was trying to smoothly get out of my tactless question. But I think I finally get it.
I can say, as I watch both acting ready for school, in their different ways, I get sad already. I know come fall when Gavy really sports that backpack for the first day of preschool I will get emotional (the pregnancy hormones do not help). He really is so ready. As for Bray, I am glad he's still just 2, because as he walks around telling me he's "going school, mom" my heart and whole being says, no way Jose! I'm not ready to let that little guy go yet. Fortunately the rules tell me I can't! I have a whole year to prepare my heart to let him go too. I think it might take that long!

The to-dos and of late

I am finally feeling like we are catching up with life around here. We are also preparing to get ready for baby. I laugh when I look at my to-do list, it looks like an excerpt from some Good-Housekeeping article. However, I have crossed much off in the last two weeks and though they may seem silly, feel pretty good about the recent accomplishments.

• Reorganized all the kids clothes (including consigning a ton and packing up hand me downs), made room and put away baby's clothes too!
• Finished off the "ode to girl" in the crib corner of the room.
• Caught up on Gavin's scrapbook and only have about 4 pages left to catch up on Bray's.
• Got as far as possible in the baby book we bought for little girl.
• Made 2 sets of six freezer meals for the frozen food exchange I am a part of.
• Made Gavin's birthday invites (for his very small party) and bought his birthday present.
• Washed and sterilized all bottles and breast pump paraphernalia.
• Sorted through and found house hiding spots for all the baby "stuff"...burp clothes, crib sheets, blankets, changing pads, diapers, etc.
• Made room in the kitchen for bottles, paci's and other baby things that inevitably need room in a cupboard.
• Made a drawer of baby toys in the living room.
• Cleaned the rest of the office closet and reorganized the boys toys...eliminating some.
• Updated all our bills to online payment and created an excel budget sheet.
• Packed my bag and the baby's bag for the hospital.
• Made over5 phone calls to update various aspects of life...from new insurance to making an appointment to get the van's automatic door fixed (let's just say, being 8 months pregnant and climbing into a van to help buckle the kids has stunk).
• Did major grocery shopping trip for the month.
  

I will admit to having a day without children (thank you Grandma Joan) that helped make this all possible and an hour and a half one morning without kids (thank you Holly Moe) to make phone calls. It is amazing what can be accomplished without kids...it is also amazing how much I miss them and love hearing about all they did in our time apart.
Overall, it feels nice to be relatively caught up. Sometimes I do feel like the minute I cross something off my list, I am also writing something onto it. It reminds me of my days at work, where I would intentionally write down things I'd already done, just so I could cross more things off! But in the end, I believe we are at the point where the baby could come, the kids would have food and I would be in a pretty good state.
I am starting to get really tired by the end of the day and I am looking forward to having a little more agility and desire to be out running with the boys. I think they are ready for baby to come too. Gavin is constantly asking about his sister and Brayden is always wondering when we are going to the baby dr..
I am trying to enjoy my last few weeks with just the boys. I am noticing Brayden is getting so big and using sentences and I am a tad sad that he won't be my baby. He is too funny and turning into the family ham. I can tell he is ready to not be the baby anymore. Gavin is definitely turning into a huge nurturer and will be a great biggest brother. But I still want to capture a bit of this time with just my boys to save in my heart. It is so sweet.

summer update

So, this summer I am horrible at getting back into the office to catch up on this here blog. It doesn't help, that my super trooper, Brayden, learned to let himself in through the gate and refuses to obey when I tell him to stay out. Since the office is currently a dumping zone for paper work, baby stuff, Shawn's school supplies, etc...it's also seen as a cornucopia of treasures by my two sons. The words "stay out" mean nothing to their little ears.
I digress.
Here is the quick catch up. I am very pregnant. Bleck. Never the one to love pregnancy, I do not feel the glow and for the first time ever I want to waddle. I have to make a mental note to walk with my feet pointed forward and my legs together. I often get the highly overrated comment, "aren't you so cute?". And though it is said with good intention and sweet meaning, I must say, I get a tad irritated. "Yes, adorable. I think when the baby comes I'll just shove an over inflated basketball up my shirt because it really is just SOOOOO cute." I know these people are just being nice and I really need to work on my gracious attitude.
I think there is something about being short that people associate with cute. I don't know what it is, but that is all I can conclude. Because at this point I am bigger than when both Gavin and Brayden were born and I would argue it's not cute. It's pregnant.
All that said, we are making some progress on getting ready for the baby. We got all the stuff out of the attic and it's in the laundry room. I'll attack the laundry room later. I don't know what happened to the bottles, but am just thankful that we found the misplaced carseat. Yes, out of everything, the two things we couldn't find were the carseat and bottles...we're off to a great start!
The boys are doing good. I think they too are ready for baby. Especially Gavin. He's been very curious and protects anything we say is for his sister. "Bray, get out of the crib, that's our sister's. Braaaaayden, don't touch those shoes, their for our sister." It's really quite cute. He wants to know if she'll talk or walk and he doesn't think she should, which is good, no disappointment there.
Brayden is going to have a rude awakening when mom can actually get off the floor again in under a minute. Right now he gets away with so much because, well...he can get away. The other day as he ran away from me I just sat on the floor of his room yelling, "When this baby comes, you are toast little man." He looked back with a huge grin and replied, "Mommy so silly."
We'll see whose the last to laugh little buddy.
Aside from baby, the boys are enjoying their summer. We went to a cabin with some friends and had multiple days at a river to throw rocks, play, swim and create our own dams. They LOVED it. Gavin asks to go back every day and has cried often when we say no.
Both boys are in swim lessons and doing great. Bray has really suprised us by doing so well. His fearless nature works for him, but he has also sat in his class and obeyed relatively consistently. He definitely gets kudos for his behavior and improvement. (Unfortunately, the more familiar he gets with the water, the more testing he does, but still...he's not even two and a half and doing what the four year olds are doing...). He is so fun to watch too. He smiles so much, he is constantly swallowing water. Even when he is ducked under, he comes up coughing and grinning.
Dad is working hard, at his new job and at home. He has been at his new school nearly everyday and in the yard most nights. He has both getting into shape and I am quite proud of all he's doing in both places. He does say he is looking forward to August and actually having some of his staff back at school to talk to, but relishes the the time to get things done uninterrupted.
I am just enjoying the more laid back season of sunny days. It finally arrived and I do love it. I love being out back with the kids and spending some time in the yard. I have gotten in my fair share of yard work and do enjoy looking at the results. I also love hearing my boys playing together out back and enjoying their imaginations and God's creation. It's so simple and so enjoyable.
Welp. That's the update here for now. Hopefully I'll get some motivation to post some pics soon, but seeing as I just ordered all our pictures dating back to Christmas, we'll see. (Yes, Christmas...for those of you who know me well, this is so out of character...how the mighty type A's fall when toddlers prevail.) Either way, I am hoping to do a slightly better job here on the ol' blog. As a true Washingtonian, I can only say...if the sun's out, I make no promises and no commitments.

The worm sprinkler

For Brayden's birthday, his Grandma gave him a worm sprinkler. It's about 30 little worms that stand up with sun hats and squirt water out of their mouth. That was in April...the kids have been waiting to use for what feels like forever.
We have had to improvise with "summer" ideas, since the sun has foresaken us up to this point. Fortuately, dad has been home earlier and we have had some extra hands to do things like bike rides and park trips, zoo trips and visiting friends. Dad and mom have even managed to squeeze in a few dates!
All in all, we have kept busy and enjoyed being a family, but I can say we miss the sun and we are a tad sad that the summer vacation plans we normally make have been waylaid in leu of Shawn's new job and a baby on the way. We have a few tiny get aways planned and Shawn and I are trying very hard to keep our chins up and not lament over lack of a real "vacation". I have a pretty lousy attitude about it and would like to GO! Our boys of course are completely oblivious and just happy to have more of dad home and anticipating use of the worm sprinkler.
We finally got it out the other day for an hour of sun. The boys stripped down and ran naked...full of screaming delight. They couldn't have been more happy, until the clouds rolled in and mom and dad made them call it quits. I told them they could use it again when the sun arrived.
Today is the big day. It's supposed to be 80 all week, ideal worm sprinkler weather. The boys can hardly contain themselves. Worm sprinklers and popscicles...that's apparently all it takes. Shawn and I, once again could learn a lesson from these two crazy nuts. I have a lovely backyard, two amazingly funny little boys, a wonderful husband, sugar on a stick and water flowing from a worms mouth. I really don't need to go anywhere...maybe I could just ship my attitude. (: