Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mom guilt

So, I am going to Tennessee for 5 days...leaving tomorrow morning at 6am and returning Sunday night at 9:20pm. I am headed to a MOPS convention, with four friends from church and I believe it is going to be a fun time! (I am not huge on lots of estrogen in one room, but fortunately these ladies are not super flowery, high maintenance and I really believe we will have a good time.)
Anyway...in order to get away, it seems the work load has doubled. Making sure the laundry is done, the boys have been bathed, the baby-sitting is lined up, the thank yous for the sitters written, the lunches packed, the bags packed for each day, the directions written out for sitters, the house cleaned up, the dishes cleaned ...and on it goes. Of course, each time I accomplish a task, it seems to be undermined by someone or something under the height of three feet. The bathroom gets cleaned then promptly trashed by toothpaste. The laundry gets done, then someone spills and another one wets his pants. Generally making sure the house is ready so re-entry won't be so hard and also trying to pack myself. (How one packs for 86 degrees with thundershowers outside and 72 degrees air conditioning inside, I am not sure, because those are completely different outfits in my mind....argh and I hate to overpack...more to unpack upon returning). I am also wanting to spend some time with the boys before I go...that is fun and not task oriented!
Now, my husband is completely capable and has said he will take care of it...and I know he will, but I also know, there is this thing called "mom guilt" that husbands just don't have. The feeling, that for some reason, they may not know how to live life without us and if we leave the family to do something for ourselves, we must in fact have to pay someway or somehow for going. And so we go about trying to do everything we do in a week in a day instead, trying to make it seem as though we won't even be gone. (Never crossing our minds, that maybe they need a break from us too.)
Anyway...that's where I am at today. Trying to fight off the mom guilt and just make it to 4am until I get picked up to catch my plane. And then, I will take in five whole days going to the bathroom when I want to, concerning myself with only my nutrition, turning over the sign that says "cleaning service" on the door handle, and sleeping in past 6am! I know I will be ready to see my kids, probably before the 5 days are up, but at the same time...boy oh boy am I looking forward to holding that "cleaning service" sign in my hands.

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