"Mom"

"Hey Mom"...this is how I am now greeted in the morning. When did I become "Mom" and what happened to Mommy? When did full sentances start and why do I sometimes get sad when I ask Gavin if he needs help and I get a "No thanks."? Aren't we supposed to rejoice that they can take off their own shoes and zip up their own pajamas? It is a sad liberation. I have this two year old little man who is taking the world by storm and I am already praying for my attitude when I see him take a wife. Dear Lord, help me to let go and give the poor girl space!

Then there is Brayden, who each day I practice "mama" with. Maybe I shouldn't. If he gets that later, maybe "Mommy" will last longer. I am not sure. He is already so quick to follow his brother, he crawled 3 months earlier and looks like he'll be walking 5 months earlier! Sometimes, I am more concerned if I am ready than if he is.

It's a strange phenomenon. Rejoicing at each discovery they make and each time they accomplish a new feat. And grieving as we say good-bye to Mommy and hello to Mom. I am not needed for everything any more and it's a wonderful horrible feeling. Sometimes I cannot wait until Gavin knows that his maracha will jam his toy and until Brayden takes those first few steps without crashing. Other days I am so grateful to see Gavin still in his footy pajamas dragging blanky and snuggling "puppy" and Brayden clinging to my leg, fearful not to lean into my support.

As we get ready to leave the house, Gavin zips up his jacket, runs to the door, out to the car and climbs into his seat. He waits for me to buckle it and says, "Thanks Mom." Your welcome son. And thanks for letting me buckle you in. Thanks for not learning it all quite yet and leaving me a small part in getting you ready to go and keeping you safe. I think I still need that.