Today, Brayden is really one. He won't remember today. He doesn't know it. He didn't know what to do with his present (his brother did...and that wasn't too pretty). He didn't like his party hat, it didn't help that mommy accidentally snapped the elastic on his cheek. He isn't sure why mommy keeps trying to pull his pointer finger out and hold it in the air. He doesn't get it. But I do.
I get it all too well. A year ago today, I had my second baby boy. He was little with tons of black hair. He was so tiny and came so fast. He slept a lot. He pooped a lot. He grew. He pooped more. He started laughing and smiling. He sat up. He still pooped quite a bit. He crawled. He started out with his first steps. And he turned one.
To him it's just another Thursday, where he goes into childcare at MOPS and we go about our routine. But not to me. Looking back at my baby, in his big boy car seat, facing forward, with his now blond hair, his toothy smile and watching his eyes flutter shut and his head lilt to the side as he gives into sleep...I am in awe of this child and the year I have had with him.
Sometimes I want those baby days back. But it is because of the last 365 days of learning about and getting to know this little person, I couldn't love him more. I want to hold him all day. But he's a big boy now and he has things to discover and places to go. I will settle for stealing as many cheek kisses as possible. And though he won't...I will remember today for him.