Tuesday, April 28, 2009


One of the last pics we got with Paci
Below is a young Gavin with his Paci

The "paci" was what Gavin named his pacifier. We had made up our minds that we would have it gone by 2, but then, we found out I was pregnant and thought it would be mean to take it away when his brother would get one all the time. So...life went on. We moved "paci" down to just naptime and bedtime. It did not leave the bed.

Finally, last week...I made the decision one day. We're done. No warning, no nothing, I brought in a Percy Train, that I had bought for a reward (Thomas trains were on sale and frankly that NEVER happens, so I bought a few for rewards for down the road). I told Gavin, "We aren't going to use our paci anymore." I place Percy on his dresser and continued, "If you sleep good without paci, you can have Percy when you wake up." (Sidenote: I try not to bribe, and since this isn't a heart issue...I am labeling it an "incentive" it makes me feel better about it). He did it.

I will admit, it took him a bit longer to fall asleep and still does. However, it wasn't a problem. He doesn't take his brother's paci like I thought he would (although he will take it out of his mouth after naptime and tell Brayden he shouldn't have it then). He has only asked for paci once and when I reminded him that he has Percy. His response was, "Oh, I forgot."

Again, I realize the problem is me. It's me whose not ready to watch him grow up. It is me who under estimates Gavin's comprehension (I was thinking there was no way he would understand that it was the end and Percy replaced Paci forever not just that nap). It was me who was holding onto paci. Me who didn't believe in my son's abilities.

Generally speaking, I have pretty high expectations of my kids and quick consequences if they aren't met. Still, I am still amazed at how often they surpass expectation and rise above the limitations I place on them. It's incredible and causes me to re-evaluate quite often.

I want to believe the most for my child, but I also don't want to set them up for frustration, afterall, God says "Parents, don't exasperate your children" (apparently He has no problem with them exasperating us!). So how do we challenge them to be their best without pushing them too far beyond themselves. It's a fine line. This is a line I thought I would be dealing with more in late elementary through school years, but God is showing me...it's a day one until the end, ongoing, everyday, every hour, forever process. I get tired just thinking about it.

And so...I pray for wisdom and guidance and I set the bar a little higher. Just today they both reached it again. I am a proud mom. A mom who is honestly, a little sad she'll never see her first born in his footy pajamas, with puppy, blanky and paci snuggled in bed again.

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